Rebecca Mozo "Well, sometimes on Saturdays the gang goes up to the roof and gets hooched up just to feel nothing cause it hurts so much being alive..."	Erin Anderson & Rebecca Mozo "We gotta quit this place and fast, Junie- the Matron's gonna murder us."	Amy Brenneman and Hazel Armenante "My mother died when I was three on melancholia and advanced gum disease."
Rebecca Mozo and Jason RItter "Carl + Junie= 4 ever."	LaToya London "This is a little sumpin' sumpin' I wrote a little ways back..."	Jillian Armenante and Rebecca Field "They tore up my mattress and stole my best cherry red lipstick..."
Erin Anderson "And we'll run real far. Junie, they ain't never gonna find us."	Rebecca Mozo, Erin Anderson & Tiny "And get a tiny pony and I'll get to name it because I'm real good at namin' things like that..."	Gigi Bermingham "Your perversions are interesting as scientific studies..."
Jillian Armenante and Rebecca Mozo "Now, show me them steps again you retread."	Gigi Bermingham and LaToya London "Here, have a muffin Nancy."	Rebecca Mozo "All my teenage friends and me, we had so many good times...robbing liquor stores and starting fires."
Rebecca Mozo "I'm not the kind of girl you'd be wise to betray..."	Pamela Dunlap and Heloise Dodd "...ain't nobody love whiskey or hate old people more than my Ma."	Christina Moore and Bob Clendenin "Ja. It shtings, it shtings."
Christina Moore "She simply urinated on Swilda."	Felicia Day and Tammy "Pass the Blancmange please Tammy."	Brenneman, Clendenin, Moore, & Hazel "My father owned a chemical company that made solvents so, I was raised by my nanny, Swilda.
Gigi Bermingham and Erin Anderson "You could have husband and a waffle iron."	Rebecca Field and Rebecca Mozo "I'm more than just a pretty face. I'm excellent tits too."	Jillian Armenante and Lauren Weedman "Go on Barbara, teach Lois a lesson. Show her so, she'll learn good."
Armenante, Field, and Mozo "What donut king would want a lousy pill popper like you?"	Joel McHale "That's not a tuba!!"	Jillian Armenante "Eyeballs taste like oysters."
Rebecca Field "Snake Queen at the 53rd Rattlesnake Roundup..."	Pamela Dunlap "Quit it would'ya?"	Pamela Dunlap and Rebecca Mozo "She never once took a vodka bottle to the playground or sold her underpants for smokes."
Rebecca Mozo and Erin Anderson "Oh, sure. My whole life's been nothing but one big song and dance."	Rebecca Mozo and Erin Anderson "Well. Look at this fish. I'd say I caught myself a real live carp."	Gigi Bermingham & LaToya London "You can't even have real forks, you monsters gotta cut your meat with your claws and teeth like real animals."
Heloise Dodd and Drew Droege "Drunk and disorderly at your own First Communion."	Daniel Bess and Rebecca Mozo "Denny he wanted some dough and he didn't care much whose dough you understand?"